Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Parker Brothers Black Magic

My buddy has something living in the second story of his house. His gay brother is so convinced it's haunted he tried to perform an exorcism by ripping up black metal posters on the wall and breaking cassettes in a wine-induced rage. Surprisingly it didn't work and he got beat up.

People have seen things up there, felt cold spots, woken up with scratches on them blah blah.. I've gotten some weird feelings myself while walking up the stairs. Shit's paranormal, yo.

So what's the best course of action to understand and deal with this situation? Bust out the glow-in-the-dark Ouija Board, light some candles, put on some Procer Veneficus, and hold a shoddy ass sceance in order to communicate and hopefully piss off whatever it is.

Me and my fat ex-vegan friend

We got nothing for the first 20 minutes or so. The planchette eventually started moving between E and G over and over (EGEGEGEG, Spanish for chuckling like a pedophile?). We pretty much called it a pussy and told it to present itself. Nothing really happened; his brother said he heard knocking in the hallway. Big fucking deal.

Lately, though, my buddy has said he's been experiencing things that are making him paranoid. Screeching upstairs, knocking on the roof, his dogs acting strangely, etc. Guess he's fucked. Oops.

Thanks Parker Brothers

41 comments:

  1. dude props, this blog is funny as fuck

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  2. I don't really believe in this stuff but it is freaky

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  3. I lold. Especially at this "he tried to perform an exorcism by ripping up black metal posters on the wall and breaking cassettes in a wine-induced rage" that was awesome.

    Followed.

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  4. I used to play Magic but not these crazy things^^

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  5. sucks to be your mate, but maybe he just needs to take a spoonful of cement and harden the fuck up? There's no such thing as ghosts.

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  6. Lol.. makes me laugh any time anyone mentions this stupid thing. Oh no! The ghost is here and it want's its monopoly money back

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  7. Simple.....just call the ghostbusters.

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  8. Never tried anything like this before. I don't really belive in this stuff lol

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  9. Supernaturaly freaky, don't really delve much into that area..

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  10. Fucking ghosts! They should die. Hmm... ok, already dead. But maybe just stop bothering us.

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  11. Lol at least you dont have to live there

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  12. wtf is up with ghosts anyway? i always hear about people "waking up with scratches." fuck that. when i die i'll AT LEAST cut a major vein..or tendon.

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  13. Lol tell him its the ghost of all his childhood dreams.

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  14. I dunno how I feel about Ouija Boards. Pretty sure they're just a stupid game people use to dick with each other though.

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  15. freaking awesome, love the story. good job

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  16. Reminds me music band called "Christ Sawyor's and Mother Wet Earth's Assemble".

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  17. Damn, I'm like pussy for this type of shit. Never play with spirits bro haha

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  18. That's....very odd. Like most ghost things.

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  19. Hilarious!! Have him try putting a pile of flour in the middle of the room, putting a marble on top of the pile, and sealing the room up (windows and doors closed) for 24 hours. See if the marble moves. :) Followin'!

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  20. I played it once with my friends. We were all drunk, it was really funny, not even a little scary lol

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  21. haha that game used to scare me as a child.

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  22. I'm not superstitious, but that game freaks me out

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  23. Were can i buy ouji boards? i always hear about them

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  24. I never found ouija boards to have anything to them, all just kinda crap really

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  25. Bill Murray will fix this right quick

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  26. Parker Brothers? Should have used one from Hasbro

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  27. Your blog's are easily the funniest I've ever read. Keep em comin. But Paranormal Activity 3: The Parkers has a strange ring to it. I'd be careful.

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  28. lol Good story man, but be careful with that shit

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  29. Quija boards, so useful, Kirk Hamment had one painted on his guitar ;D
    In a way I want to try this and see, but I'm too much of a wuss !!

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  30. WTF dude chill, you're going to get possessed!!! *it happened to my friend :'(*

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