Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Parker Brothers Black Magic

My buddy has something living in the second story of his house. His gay brother is so convinced it's haunted he tried to perform an exorcism by ripping up black metal posters on the wall and breaking cassettes in a wine-induced rage. Surprisingly it didn't work and he got beat up.

People have seen things up there, felt cold spots, woken up with scratches on them blah blah.. I've gotten some weird feelings myself while walking up the stairs. Shit's paranormal, yo.

So what's the best course of action to understand and deal with this situation? Bust out the glow-in-the-dark Ouija Board, light some candles, put on some Procer Veneficus, and hold a shoddy ass sceance in order to communicate and hopefully piss off whatever it is.

Me and my fat ex-vegan friend

We got nothing for the first 20 minutes or so. The planchette eventually started moving between E and G over and over (EGEGEGEG, Spanish for chuckling like a pedophile?). We pretty much called it a pussy and told it to present itself. Nothing really happened; his brother said he heard knocking in the hallway. Big fucking deal.

Lately, though, my buddy has said he's been experiencing things that are making him paranoid. Screeching upstairs, knocking on the roof, his dogs acting strangely, etc. Guess he's fucked. Oops.

Thanks Parker Brothers
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39 comments:

  1. AnonymousFebruary 9, 2011 at 2:20 AM

    dude props, this blog is funny as fuck

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  2. Daniel HealyFebruary 9, 2011 at 2:40 AM

    I don't really believe in this stuff but it is freaky

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  3. Psychedelica EmphaticaFebruary 9, 2011 at 3:15 AM

    I lold. Especially at this "he tried to perform an exorcism by ripping up black metal posters on the wall and breaking cassettes in a wine-induced rage" that was awesome.

    Followed.

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  4. Disser2February 9, 2011 at 3:25 AM

    I used to play Magic but not these crazy things^^

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  5. Hom DiddlyFebruary 9, 2011 at 3:54 AM

    sucks to be your mate, but maybe he just needs to take a spoonful of cement and harden the fuck up? There's no such thing as ghosts.

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  6. WolfeFebruary 9, 2011 at 6:41 AM

    Lol.. makes me laugh any time anyone mentions this stupid thing. Oh no! The ghost is here and it want's its monopoly money back

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  7. Mitch CannFebruary 9, 2011 at 7:15 AM

    Simple.....just call the ghostbusters.

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  8. seankenny08February 9, 2011 at 9:36 AM

    Never tried anything like this before. I don't really belive in this stuff lol

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  9. Kai-RinFebruary 9, 2011 at 11:48 AM

    Supernaturaly freaky, don't really delve much into that area..

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  10. OnlyATrillionFebruary 9, 2011 at 12:46 PM

    Fucking ghosts! They should die. Hmm... ok, already dead. But maybe just stop bothering us.

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  11. MikeFebruary 9, 2011 at 1:50 PM

    Lol at least you dont have to live there

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  12. hyphyphysicsFebruary 9, 2011 at 2:04 PM

    wtf is up with ghosts anyway? i always hear about people "waking up with scratches." fuck that. when i die i'll AT LEAST cut a major vein..or tendon.

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  13. PhantomGirl323February 9, 2011 at 2:09 PM

    Lol tell him its the ghost of all his childhood dreams.

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  14. BraingeyserFebruary 9, 2011 at 3:37 PM

    I dunno how I feel about Ouija Boards. Pretty sure they're just a stupid game people use to dick with each other though.

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  15. jopjopjopFebruary 9, 2011 at 4:14 PM

    freaking awesome, love the story. good job

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  16. The Timely RegentFebruary 9, 2011 at 4:17 PM

    xD Interesting.

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  17. MarahaFebruary 9, 2011 at 5:55 PM

    Reminds me music band called "Christ Sawyor's and Mother Wet Earth's Assemble".

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  18. RianeFebruary 9, 2011 at 6:01 PM

    lol thats crazy

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  19. Johnny DramaFebruary 9, 2011 at 6:06 PM

    Freakin sweet, wanna see more.

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  20. wutsszFebruary 9, 2011 at 6:08 PM

    Damn, I'm like pussy for this type of shit. Never play with spirits bro haha

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  21. ErasmusFebruary 9, 2011 at 6:10 PM

    That's....very odd. Like most ghost things.

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  22. Chocolatecoins14February 9, 2011 at 6:43 PM

    Hilarious!! Have him try putting a pile of flour in the middle of the room, putting a marble on top of the pile, and sealing the room up (windows and doors closed) for 24 hours. See if the marble moves. :) Followin'!

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  23. AnonymousFebruary 9, 2011 at 6:48 PM

    I played it once with my friends. We were all drunk, it was really funny, not even a little scary lol

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  24. Doc_WafflesFebruary 9, 2011 at 7:27 PM

    haha that game used to scare me as a child.

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  25. HockeyPlaceFebruary 9, 2011 at 7:45 PM

    I'm not superstitious, but that game freaks me out

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  26. Josh HeppleFebruary 9, 2011 at 8:06 PM

    Were can i buy ouji boards? i always hear about them

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  27. UFO Today (bryon)February 9, 2011 at 8:23 PM

    Haha I hope you dont get ghosted!

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  28. dntmtrFebruary 9, 2011 at 8:35 PM

    I never found ouija boards to have anything to them, all just kinda crap really

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  29. FitzenFebruary 9, 2011 at 10:16 PM

    Bill Murray will fix this right quick

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  30. DanFebruary 9, 2011 at 10:22 PM

    Parker Brothers? Should have used one from Hasbro

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  31. The Almighty LewisFebruary 9, 2011 at 10:22 PM

    Your posts always make me chuckle

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  32. RobbiesBlogFebruary 9, 2011 at 10:23 PM

    awesome man, nice story

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  33. nootiytootiyFebruary 9, 2011 at 10:35 PM

    Your blog's are easily the funniest I've ever read. Keep em comin. But Paranormal Activity 3: The Parkers has a strange ring to it. I'd be careful.

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  34. GelusFebruary 9, 2011 at 11:09 PM

    lol Good story man, but be careful with that shit

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  35. AnonymousFebruary 9, 2011 at 11:31 PM

    Hahaha I love it. Following!

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  36. SixxFebruary 9, 2011 at 11:33 PM

    Quija boards, so useful, Kirk Hamment had one painted on his guitar ;D
    In a way I want to try this and see, but I'm too much of a wuss !!

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  37. Quasar greenFebruary 9, 2011 at 11:57 PM

    :) this makes me so happy

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  38. metalpark_73189February 11, 2011 at 9:05 AM

    WTF dude chill, you're going to get possessed!!! *it happened to my friend :'(*

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  39. RyanJC18February 11, 2011 at 3:24 PM

    i really love this pic.

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